Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Comfort in our Baggage


Here I sit at 38 years old and all around me are bags, purses, duffels and luggage. I am aware that everyone around me can see them and also notice how much they hamper me from getting around easily. However, I pass plenty of people who have plenty of baggage puddle around their feet. The real question is what is in those bags, purses, duffels and luggage?

I few months ago I watched Children of a Lesser God. The main character is deaf and very angry about the actions of the hearing world around her. She keeps everyone at arm’s length, especially any one new and not a normal participant in her daily life. When she meets a new teacher from the deaf school they begin a relationship. He works very hard to break down her walls and let him love her. At one point he asks her if anyone has ever broken her heart. She explains with stoic nature that people do not hurt her. With much doubt concerning her words he asks her what would happen if she admitted she had been hurt. Defeated she replies that she would wither up and die.

Wow. I think that is why so many Christians have a hard time letting their baggage go. If we realized God and others knew the contents of our bags we think we would wither up and die. There is a big difference in being aware of God's grace, knowing His love and forgiveness, and exposing the contents of your gear. We are so familiar with our baggage and so comfortable at how heavy it feels. Letting that go means repenting and turning from that to a new direction. For me that is the scary part. I am pretty comfortable being weighted down with shame and regret. I am not comfortable turning from that comfort and moving in a new direction. We all remember that Robert Frost poem about taking the road less traveled and how he was all the better for it. I agree, how fantastic. 20/20 vision is always easy to see in hindsight. I yearn for that more than anything. But when it comes right down to it I worry that when I change directions I will wither up and die.

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