No Net?

Do you ever feel alone?
No I mean really alone?
Like the Savior has done enough?
You’re supporting it all and your shoulders are giving way.
Trying to be the perfect wife, sister, daughter and friend but still not pulling your weight.
Feeling there is more you can take on, more you could do, more ways to help.
Sitting waiting for the inevitable and preparing for the crash.
Ready to scoop up all the mess around you, heal the pain, wipe away the tears and sing praises.
When meanwhile you’re falling fast and there is no net.

As I was clearing out some old books I found the above poem scratched desperately on the back of an old email. As my eyes retraced the words on the page, I was transformed back to the day I wrote it. I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot of my work place in Ocala. I can remember the pain and desperation I felt. I was overcome by a sorrow which blackened my heart. I silently beseeched the emptiness for a reprieve. But there I sat transferring my ache to a white sheet of paper. The more I wrote the more I felt trapped in a cage I let no one else see. Standing right next to me that day was my Savior with a key to the door. However, I was so terrified of never finding the bottom of the pit that I failed to hear my Lord inviting me to jump with faith into His net of unwavering love.
“We have escaped like a bird out of the fowler’s snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the LORD who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 124:7-8 What a mighty Savior who continued to pursue me regardless of my ability to turn tail and run faster and farther. Even though I can remember that day and feel each cold tear stream down my face I am no longer that scared girl hiding in dark desperation. I am thankful today for a glimpse back at how far He has carried me from my murky rusty cage to His radiant light and life. I still have days where I feel down and frustrated but I now run toward my Savior with outstretched net like arms. I rest in His lap and listen to the symphony of His sweet truth that I am worthy, beautiful and free.