I know you are near.

It always seemed like I was alone with Him but there were others around. These well worn pine pews are as comfortable and strong as I imagined His arms would be. Knelt with closed eyes I heard sweet and angelic voices around me lifting up prayers to Him through song. It was in this historic chapel on a shaded canopy Tallahassee road that God came to meet me every Wednesday evening of my collegiate spiritual journey. Never in any other place had I felt closer to God. It was in that place that I was just His child. There were no intentions of sin and no spiritual expectations. I simply came to sit for a moment and be with my Father, Yahweh.

That place has been a faint memory a small bend in the trail through life. Back then the smells, sights and sounds were so real that I took them for granted. I never realized that place would not always be a part of my life. My confession is that I have not thought of that place since that last time I left, 16 years ago. Peering through a misty curtain of tears I turned from that chapel griping tightly the pain inflicted on my spirit there by a man of God. Strangely the past Friday night I was transported back there, a prodigal come home to the feast.

Dan Schutte came to our church for a weekend of music. Friday evening we gathered in our sanctuary to sing, worship and learn more about Dan and his gifts from God. I was moved by so many songs. Lyrics so rooted in scripture which whispered to my soul. "Yahweh, I know you are near standing always at my side" Those words that tune. As I closed my eyes and melted into that moment I was back in that chapel. I could feel that old worn wood pew, I could smell that scent of incense, and I felt Him slide in next to me. The words spilled out of my mouth like an childhood friend. I was 20 years old again and I was "daddy's little girl". My cheeks ached from the large smile that was now camped across my face. My opened hands rested on my knees and I felt His fingers brush across mine. By His own miracle I was reminded of those days when my realtionship with Him was young. I never thought I would be back in that place where I first felt my Lord touch me.

It was in that moment that I realized; as special a place as that chapel was in my past He was still near. God showed my that even though I was not physically in that chapel I am always merely a moment away from that feeling. My Lord's arms are strong and comfortable and there is no where I can go that will ever seperate me from His love. Thanks be to God.

You are my favorite.

Who does not like to feel special? I know where I am concerned I love to feel like I am valued and missed when I am not around. As a child one of things I liked to do the most was visit my Paternal Grandmother. We had a very special relationship and I learned so much about faith and the Lord from her. She had a practice of always making my favorite foods and filling her house with the things I liked the best. After I was engaged I went to spend a weekend with her and almost before I could cross the threshold she was showing off a special set of sheets she bought for the soon to be bride. Grandmama did those types of things often for all of her grandchildren. It was the way she showed us her unconditional love. At her funeral it was said that she always told each of us that we were her favorite. We all knew in our hearts that she was right.

As I think back to my Grandmama's red carpet treatment I am reminded of another who goes out of His way to make us feel special. "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." (John 14:2-3) Our heavenly Father sent Jesus so that he could prepare a special place for us, to pave the way for us to follow. He died for our sins so that we would be able to live with Him always. He went to heaven to get things ready for us. I love to think that right now He is getting my "room" ready. Maybe He is fluffing my pillows, arranging my favorite flowers on the bedside table, or filling the heavenly refrigerator with diet coke. Much like my Grandmama, God can not wait for us to come and stay with Him. He is so excited about our visit that He has gone out of His way to prepare a place for us. True to His word when the time is right He will come and take us to the place He has prepare. I can't wait to see the special sheets His has chosen for me.

I think I am in love.

Sunday my pastor's sermon spoke about how we can move from being a would-be disciple to a true disciple. A disciple that would do anything for Jesus and in that action bring others to that same love. He stated that first we have to "fall in love". After that happens it is natural that we order our lives around that love. We have to realize that being in love with God is a sacred love, one that we do with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. In turn His love for us is sacred, unfailing, total and without reserve. Since Sunday I have thought about that sermon a whole lot.

At lunch I got to a part of my book, The Shack, which turned on a light bulb for me. Mack, the character in the book was talking with the trinity about some of the thoughts of God that he has grown up with. For example that we as Christians should put God at the head of our life, first and foremost. God in the book relates a little bit of a different thought to Mack. God says that doing what Mack thinks, puts God at the head of a pyramid and makes God the top on a list of values. God says that is not where he wants to be. God sees it more like He is the center of a mobile. A mobile where everything moves around freely but is still connected to Him in every way. He says, "I want to be at the center of everything. When I live in you, then together we can live through everything that happens to you." Holy V8 moment! That is when the sermon, this book and my place on this journey with God, came together face to face.

I am in LOVE with God. I can not get enough of Him. At times I find that I can't eat, I can't sleep and often I smile just thinking about Him. You are most likely running to the phone to call and get me some professional help. But please before you send the men with the white coat after me understand that I don't care. For I know now that nothing can ever keep me from His love. It is so infectious that I can not wait to lay back and allow His will to come into my life and lead me toward the things that He wants for me. I want to learn everything about Him I want to follow where He leads. All my life He has pursued me. He has never left my side always loving me and seeing in me the child He created. I have spent so much time in my life running from Him and chasing things that I thought made me happy and filled me. However my heart always had an empty spot. I use to think of it as a sad place an area I had damaged forever. Tonight I know that place was empty because He was waiting for me to allow Him to fill that hole. Now that I have He has fix not only the spot but my whole heart. Today is just the beginning and I can't wait for the future. Thanks be to God, my man!