From Hosanna to Halleluiah

Last night as the ticking of the clock continually reminded me it was past my bedtime I could not help but think about Jesus and the week before Easter. For me the most reflective time on the Christian calendar is, holy week, the last week Jesus spent on the earth. My mind tried wishing me to sleep but I was filled with the realization that our Christian walk is very much like that final week in Christ’s life.

When we first become Christians was are so excited and it envelops so much of our daily moment to moment life. I was in high school the first time I really asked Christ to come into my heart. My whole attitude changed. I was on a mountain high and all I needed was God, I even broke up with my boyfriend. I often felt like yelling out loud all day praises to Him. Jesus’ ride into Jerusalem that day was filled with the people cheering and praising His name. They had seen who He was and understood that God had sent them a messiah who would save them and restore Jerusalem.

A few short days later Jesus was watched by the temple leaders of the time. They were looking for any reason to catch him and arrest him. They wanted Jesus out of their way. During the trial the same people who cheered and praised his holy name were calling for Jesus’ head. We can be just like those people. After a number of months or years of following God and His ways we begin to think we could do things so much better. We grow tired of doing what God calls us to do. We want to be in charge of our life. It seems so difficult and so we deny the one we loved and praised a short time ago to go out on our own way. Of course our way apart from God will eventually get us in trouble. Before we know it was are so far from Him, we are unrecognizable. Things seem hopeless much like they must have seemed to the disciples after Jesus was crucified. What a dark day we see in Good Friday. The one the disciples thought was the savior was killed and in a tomb. How brilliantly blessed we are to know this is not the end of the story. Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to his disciples to prove that through him death has no hold. In our own spiritual walk we become aware that we can not remain in the dark place of hopelessness. We must reach out to God and allow Him to change us into the creation He molded us to be from the time we were in our mother’s womb.

Can you image the emotions the disciples experienced for Palm Sunday to that miraculous Easter morning? When I glance at my walk with God is can witness all the steps from my first Hosanna to the grace of Halleluiah. I recognize that I will step along that same road from beginning to end several more times in my life. My prayer is that as I mature in relationship with Him I will spend less time in Good Friday and more time rejoicing on that Easter morning.

Comfort in our Baggage

Here I sit at 38 years old and all around me are bags, purses, duffels and luggage. I am aware that everyone around me can see them and also notice how much they hamper me from getting around easily. However, I pass plenty of people who have plenty of baggage puddle around their feet. The real question is what is in those bags, purses, duffels and luggage?

I few months ago I watched Children of a Lesser God. The main character is deaf and very angry about the actions of the hearing world around her. She keeps everyone at arm’s length, especially any one new and not a normal participant in her daily life. When she meets a new teacher from the deaf school they begin a relationship. He works very hard to break down her walls and let him love her. At one point he asks her if anyone has ever broken her heart. She explains with stoic nature that people do not hurt her. With much doubt concerning her words he asks her what would happen if she admitted she had been hurt. Defeated she replies that she would wither up and die.

Wow. I think that is why so many Christians have a hard time letting their baggage go. If we realized God and others knew the contents of our bags we think we would wither up and die. There is a big difference in being aware of God's grace, knowing His love and forgiveness, and exposing the contents of your gear. We are so familiar with our baggage and so comfortable at how heavy it feels. Letting that go means repenting and turning from that to a new direction. For me that is the scary part. I am pretty comfortable being weighted down with shame and regret. I am not comfortable turning from that comfort and moving in a new direction. We all remember that Robert Frost poem about taking the road less traveled and how he was all the better for it. I agree, how fantastic. 20/20 vision is always easy to see in hindsight. I yearn for that more than anything. But when it comes right down to it I worry that when I change directions I will wither up and die.

This little heart of mine.

Recently I had a birthday; of course the number is not important. I received many messages, gifts and cards from friends and family. There was one certain card from my parents that really hit a note with me. I want to share with you the words printed on my birthday card……What makes a daughter so special? It is not how she does her hair, the music she listens to, the clothes she likes to wear. It isn’t what the eye can see that brings a parent pride but the warm and caring person a daughter is inside. It’s her gentleness and laughter, the joy she always gives, her honesty and kindness, and the thoughtful way she lives. What makes a daughter special right from the very start? It’s the most important thing of all – the love that’s in her heart. Many parents adore their children and think of them as little faultless models fashioned from their love. There is not much about me that my parents are not aware of, good and bad. I have lied to them, turned from their path for me, disappointed them and made decisions which caused them shame and grief. The printed message with this card was also accompanied with a hand written note, “Perfect wording, couldn’t have said it better”. To know in a tangible way that they see a loving heart through all the grime of my missteps brings tears to my eyes.
My parents feelings expressed in that card made me reflect on what my heavenly Father sees. Of course I am aware that He puts little or no importance on the outside appearance. He can see the creation He made regardless of what the world notices. However, I wonder if He is please with the intentions of my heart. I hope that He sees in my heart how much I feel His love for me. I pray that His love shines through me on all those in my path. All I know is that every day I strive to allow His light to shine. I want my heart to be like His, kind compassionate, stong, tender and warm. Some days I think it does and some days I need to go back to bed and start all over. Does my heavenly Father find what my parents see in this little heart of mine?