Weighed Down.

Tonight I feel weighed down. It is actually a feeling that I have been really struggling with lately. I have to admit it makes me feel like a failure as a Christian. As Christians we are to know that He will bear our burdens. We are to be joyful and praise Him in the storm. However, right now that knowledge is mere words on a page.
My mind is a tangled mess of worry. However, I do not worry about my life or my path for God is in control of me. My weight comes from around me. My heart breaks for the lonely teeage girl who cuts to ease her pain. My heart breaks for the friend who battles depression and sees no help. My heart breaks for two newlyweds who love each other but are seperated by the rubble of their family. My heart breaks for the family who have lost a son with no warning and no opportunity to say goodbye. My heart wants to sing of the grace and forgiveness that the Lord offers. But will the world hear it? Am I worthy to even sing that song?
Driving home from church tonight my stomach was a knot of sickness. The heart in my chest was so heavy I could no longer hold it up. As my mind tried to focus through the haze of worry the words on the radio lifted the fog. "Time for a milestone, time to begin again. Revaluate who I really am. Am I doing everything to follow your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills. So show me what it is you want from me. I give everything I surrender. It's time to face up. Clean this old house. Time breathe in and let everything out."
Suddenly it all made since. I was allowing the devil to get a foothold. The devil wants me to feel like a failure when I doubt and worry. The devil wants me to take other's problems on as my own and in turn be overburdened and dejected. You see the devil wants me to feel unworthy to share God's message with those who are in the storm. "For the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold"(Nehemiah 8:10)

"Whatever you're doing inside of me; It feels like chaos but now I can see this something bigger than me. Larger than life something heavenly."

Conquering Son

Before the dawn

Robed in a white sheet He

Escaped the bitter winter

A broken body

Defeated by the summer


A candle burns

Now in the window for sinner

Darkness is a memory


Water will no longer satisfy

Ice melts with this fallen leaf

Nourishing blood brings

Eternal forgiving spring.


On this Easter Sunday may we all remember the sacrifice made for us. My our hearts of ice be melted into a heart like Jesus. The defeat of Good Friday has been over shadowed by the miracle of Easter morning. Our amazing and loving Lord has given us the undeserved gift of rebirth into eternal life. Praise God!

Are you thirsty?

On a typical Florida summer day, melting under the roasting sun, I drag myself to the refrigerator searching for some liquid relief. The first thing that catches my eye is a frosty silver can of diet coke. I pop the top and drain the can in three long gulps. The bubbles cool my throat instantly and I feel my thirst quenched. My face cuddles with the can as the cool wet metal merges with my hot perspiration. I collapse in the nearest chair feeling my body temperature return to normal as I release satisfaction through a deep sigh. Resting there for a moment a new thought rears it's head.......I am still thirsty!

Jesus, early in his ministry traveled through Samaria and encountered a woman at the well drawing water. She was at that well gathering water for her thirst, as she did everyday. For her this action was just a chore she performed often. That day Jesus would use that simple chore to satisfy the woman's eternal thirst. The two exchange conversation and Jesus points out the uncomfortable, sinful life the woman has been living. The woman hears about the living water that is offered from a Messiah which she awaits. He reveals Himself to her as the awaited one and her eyes are opened. She leaves her water vessel and returns to town telling others about the Man who knew her better than she knew herself.

This story from John 4:1-42 was the basis for the most moving and real sermon I have ever experienced. My pastor weaved this encounter into an example of the shortcomings we face as Christians immersed in the material world. He pointed out that this woman, like many of us, had been satisfying her thirst in all the wrong ways. The life she was living was not fulfilling and caused her to return to drink time after time. Jesus offered her living water, His grace and love would fill those empty places which to her seemed unquenchable. Often times as Christians was are trying the fill the holes in our souls with worldly things. What we often miss is that those things only claw at our soul making craters out of pot holes. Jesus wants us to come to Him for our needs. God sent His son to us to fill the craters in our souls with His love and unconditional grace.

Anyone, especially my mother, would tell me the best thing for a thirst is water. Even though that diet coke seems to cool my face and wet my throat it does not quench my thirst. It only brings me back to the refrigerator wanting and needing something else. My hope is that we will all remember when hot to drink the water that will satisfy; and when faced with the holes in our soul welcome Jesus' eternal sacrifice of grace.