Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4. This passage was for me the turning point in my relationship with God. Last year as I participated in a post abortion bible study I experienced mourning on a level which was both extremely painful and wonderfully healing. When I could really mourn for my aborted child I realized the truth God had for me in that verse. For in dealing with the dirty evil of my sin and all the ways it effected my life I felt God's arms around me whispering, that is why I sent my Son. It was at that moment I sat in "sack cloth and ashes" for all the sins I had committed and mourned how I had allowed Satan through his lies and untruths to build a wall that kept me from God. He promised in the end of that verse that we will be comforted for He is close to the broken hearted. He comes to us with comfort at that moment because for many of us that is the first time we are able to sent aside our agenda and be real with our Father. Those moments we spend on our knees in truth and surrender lay a foundation for us to stand in his love. When it comes down to it we have to be alone with Him to get to the bottom of what keeps us from the awesome power He can use in and through us. In our culture we often mourn alone for it is there we feel we can be emotional without feeling like we are making others uncomfortable. The spilling out of our emotions leaves room for God to fill those now empty places with His love and forgiveness. As the granddaughter, daughter and wife of funeral directors; mourning as always been something I thought I knew about. I always associated it with death and grief of a loved one. However, when looked at as an adjective it means sorrowful through loss or deprivation, bereft of hope. When you mourn your sins you often feel so dark, alone and hopeless. The beauty of that moment is you finally see that you are not in control of your life and you need God. Can you go through life being a fruitful Christian and not having that moment? For me the answer is no. We have to deal with the realness of our sins, whatever they are for us, to understand the magnitude of Jesus. Without the gift of His Son we would be in a constant state of mourning.
